For far too long I have been an observer. I watched others live the life that I wanted to have. I convinced myself that it was okay to be a people watcher and that it was okay to observe because it was all for my writing. I have come to realize that I'm actually wrong a good portion of the time, can we keep that between us? I think I gain even more experiences to write about if I actually start to live my life. And do you know that it's hard? It's hard to live the life you want for yourself? Because, again, what if you fail? What if you're left holding the remainder of your safe life and the life you want is just too far to leap into? Do you fall into an abyss? Do you end up with nothing as both sides laugh at you... ???? You and I both know that the questions of uncertanity can keep going.
But what if I make it? I may actually land on the other side. I may wobble a bit or fall and skin my knee... something I do anyway all the time. Something about that option actually scares me even more... and excites me at the same time.
I'm tired of people watching, I'm tired of thinking that something more might happen next week, next year, next lifetime. I'm only getting one chance and I may look foolish again, but I think it will be worth it.. I know it will be worth it. I don't want to watch again, I don't want to watch anymore.