You always think you will have at least one more day with people you love. You waste time, and miss seeing them, blaming schedules, and life, and work, and... and... and. But eventually that time is gone. The person is gone. And you realize that all those times you took for granted were special and shaped moments in your life.
My boyfriends father passed away Wednesday after a long illness. He was in hospice for the last little bit and we were lucky to get to have time with him knowing that it was limited. I had taken Thursday off work in hopes to hang out with him again as we all knew the time was getting shorter. We knew the days were getting limited. But we still had hope that he would be with us a little longer.
Sadly I got "the call" on Wednesday afternoon. Leland was with him, and while I know it's an image that will be with him for a long time, I'm so thankful he was there. I'm thankful he was able to talk to him and let him know he was loved before he left. My heart mourns for my sweet boyfriend. It's a hurt that I've not experienced before, losing a parent.
I wasn't able to say goodbye and that's okay. This isn't about me. But I do wish I was able to say thank you.
Thank you Mr. Johnson, Ross, for being the kind of father that loved his children fiercely. That taught my boyfriend the importance of holding open doors, and helping those around you. Thank you for loving your wife and only her. Being an example of a strong marriage and caring for the one you are with. Thank you for teaching the importance of hard work, and earning a living for yourself. Thank you for not being perfect, but being comfortable with who you are. Instilling the importance of self esteem and self worth. And thank you for being kind to me. I've known you for a little over three years and every time I walked in the door you greeted me warmly. And when I left you hugged me and talked about the next time we would see one another.
I won't remember you sick. I will instead remember you following your wife in a movie theater as she picked out a seat. She questioned if you were following her around and in your big booming voice you said "Woman, I would follow you anywhere."
I will remember going on vacation together and on our way home, offering to buy me a new pair of shoes, specifically Merrells, because Dr. Oz said they were good.
I will remember going grocery shopping with you and Ernestine and you disappearing. And later finding you with a cart full of junk food at the register. Going and hiding your groceries in the truck, and coming back in to purchase your wife's selection. Later when she found your bags saying "well we needed snacks for the kids." You looked like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar.
So again, Thank you Mr. Johnson, I love you sweet man, and I look forward to seeing you again.