Navigating Relationships after Weight Loss Surgery / Part 1
Relationships change, period. But it seems like once you have weight loss surgery or lose a large amount of weight period, relationships are added to the same telescope you put everything else in.
I knew that much of my life would change after surgery and indeed saw life changing leading up to surgery. I am almost 3 months out and 55ish pounds down after surgery. And this isn't one of those blogs that is telling you everything you are doing wrong as a part of the support system for those who have had surgery, lost weight, or anything along those lines. As a side note, the tribe I have seemed to amass from weight loss surgery, family, friends, strangers on the street, is amazing. The support I have felt and seen and experienced has continued to surprise me and motivate me.
But here are a few notes for navigating relationships after weight loss surgery from my point of view:
- Try, really try to find stuff that doesn't revolve around food. I know we have all read to meet friends for a walk or go bungee jumping together. But if that isn't in your ability yet or if you don't have friends that are able to do that, find alternatives. I meet a few friends for yoga because we love it. Sometimes we pair coffee with the class and sometimes we just stand outside chatting after, but it's nice. Go to a painting class. Grab a cup of coffee ( Or herbal tea, or water, make it work for you and not against you)
- Don't entrust everyone to remember all your weird food stuff. Like I can't eat chicken or salmon right now. That may change in a few months, or it may not. But right now those are no go foods for me. It's not everyone else's responsibility to remember or intuitively know that. For most things, I take back up food. I usually have a shelf stable shake in my purse or something that I can eat if I end up at an event where there are no good options for me.
- Life is weird. I have to laugh about the weird or I would sit in my house and cry sometimes. I know that sounds a bit melodramatic. But I would. I eat to quick and I hurl. I drink to quick and I want to hurl. I look at something the wrong way and I hurl. Food that was fine for me yesterday... yep you get it, now I hurl. And you know what? It's funny to me. I learn to slow down. I learn that this is just for right now and not for always. And I move along. I have days that I wake up and can tell you from the start that my sleeve is rebelling, and I have days that I almost feel like a "normal person".
- Not everyone is out to food police you. But some people are. I don't get that, I'm a huge fan of you doing you. The only time I judge what you are eating is if you're my husband and you just ate that one bite I was going to enjoy as my one bite. I know that we eat out, a lot. And I've learned to navigate that for me. I order a lean appetizer if that's available. I take left overs home. I ask how it's prepared. I look up menus online ahead of time and figure out where I am carb and protein wise and what I will be able to eat. Know what works and doesn't work for you. What are your calorie goals, carb, protein goals, etc. But those goals may not be everyones.
I plan to expand on this more, and I know this is a lot of words, so I added a few pictures... because yay pictures. What would you like to see addressed? Have you experienced anything like this in your own journey?