I very occasionally attend a support group for people who have had, or are considering having Weight Loss Surgery. I have struck up a friendship of sorts with someone considering self pay like me and we have ongoing facebook conversations about the whole process. She is pre surgery and still looking and deciding on options. And like me, she has done really well with her pre-surgery diet and has lost some weight. The other day she asked me why I chose to still have surgery when by all examples I was "doing it by myself" before surgery. I put my phone down and had to think about the question for a moment.
The night before, week before, 3 minutes before I was knocked out I was asking myself the same question.
And the answer for myself. I HAD to have surgery. Yes the diet was working for me, but if I wanted to cheat, I COULD! It was a temporary solution that I knew I could end at any time. I needed/need the restrictions that the Vertical Sleeve has afforded me. I need to not be able to finish a meal. I need to plan every single thing I'm going to eat for the day. I need to weigh out my cheats and if they are really worth it (like that half a cupcake I split with my sister for my birthday. 100% worth it.)
I decided to have surgery because it was the right decision for me. I married the love of my life in September who has loved me much heavier and loved me when I didn't realize I didn't love myself. Something clicked that I wanted to give that man the world and I was afraid to get on a plane because of my size. (literal and figurative)
I decided to have surgery because I have nieces that I want to see grow up. Because I would move mountains for them. I want to be able to keep up with them, or at least try. I want them to have a healthy relationship with food and I see their mom doing a beautiful job with them.
I decided to have surgery because I have a twin sister with special needs and I know someday my older sister and I are going to be responsible for her ongoing care. I need to be healthy before I can fully worry about the health of another.
I decided to have surgery because I finally realized that it was okay to love myself and find myself worthy of a good life while not liking how I looked. That I wanted to be healthier and ALL the different ways I had tried weren't long term for me. This was my main deciding factor. I finally liked myself, I realized I am an okay person.
And it's HARD. Having surgery doesn't mean that your life is perfect and that the weight falls off once you wake up. It's a struggle and it requires a lot of work, planning, restrictions. But I would still do it again. I decided to have surgery because it was the best option for me.
If you've had an epic decision you've made, what was your deciding factor? Why did you choose your current path?