Getting Off the Struggle Bus
I know, I know. Every thing I post should be positive and encouraging and how I'm killing the weight loss thing. But the truth? It's hard and it's a long road.
I had a weird follow up at my weight loss surgeons office a few weeks ago. Before I met with my surgeon, who is already pretty intense, I was greeted by the new to me Nurse Practitioner. And while I'm sure she had great intentions, we had a weird interaction. She disclosed that she also had weight loss surgery and can you believe that she was xxx amount of weight before surgery. Great, except that her starting weight is my goal weight. And I'm 100 freakin pounds away from that.
(I know, run your own race, but this was still a blow)
Then she decided to give me some "tips" and, excuse me, but if you are or have ever been overweight, you know all the "tips" and could probably write a book on helpful diet advice. I explained that I was aware of them and thank you. Then she reminded me that I'm on a countdown to how effective my surgery will be. And I only have a few more months to get the full results so I really need to "dig in."
And you know what? That freakin scares me. Every step of this journey I have had willingly, helpfull people reminding me that other people fail at weight loss all the time. You know, so many people have a cousin who had this exact same surgery and gained all his/her weight back. But maybe, just maybe, I'll be the exception.
So, I sprained my ankle a few weeks ago, and while I still can do hard things, it's been a mind game, coupled with the doctor visit... I can feel myself resenting the journey for a bit. And resent isn't going to get me where I need to me.
So, struggle bus, we need to change routes. I need to change my focus on what isn't happening (ie, the stupid stupid scale) and what is, I've gone down another size, I can hike hard trails, I have endurance...
I have a crazy, helpful, loving, amazing tribe of people who support me.
And while the struggle bus is real, it's not mandatory. Thank goodness.